Bornded in the hamlet of Someone’s Parents, Louisiana, Muskrat Hammond Kurtz is a young man torn between two loves. The love of corn shucking and the love of crappy goth-tronic music. Instead of simply choosing one, Muskrat decided to have a threeway. But, of all of the great loves muskrat has, His greatest is undoubtedly food. Not just fine food. Any food. Anywhere. Ever. It doesn’t even have to be food, really.

Muskrat is Sly’s cousin, somehow. If you can figure that one out, tell me. I mean, it’s all stuck in the murky waters of backstory.